Chapter 1: Weird People. Weird Things
Chapter 2: “I’m Better Than You”
Chapter 3: A Peek Under the Hood
Chapter 4: Temperament Prep
Chapter 5: Temperament SJ: The Guardians
Chapter 6: Temperament SP: The Artisans
Chapter 7: Temperament NF: The Idealists
Chapter 8: Temperament NT: The Rationals
Chapter 9: The Whole Person
Chapter 10: Getting Better
Dumb Questions
Chapter 2
“I’m Better Than You”
Once upon a time, there were four vehicles: a sports car, a minivan, a pickup truck, and a luxury sedan.
None of them knew each other personally. They occasionally passed one another on the road and exchanged a polite nod, but no real relationships were formed.
Until one day when all four wound up at the same garage for oil changes and routine maintenance. While waiting their turn, they struck up a conversation.
“So, what do you do?” Sports Car asked Pickup Truck.
“What don’t I do?” Pickup replied proudly. “I haul things. I tow things. I move things. My owner calls me whenever real work needs to get done. I’d have to say I’m the most useful vehicle here.”
“I call bullshit,” Minivan interrupted. “When the family needs to get to school, church, practice, vacation, or Grandma’s house, who gets the call? Me. I carry kids, groceries, pets, luggage, and half the contents of the house. And unlike you, nobody gets rained on in the back.”
Luxury Sedan couldn’t let that stand.
“Please. I transport families too. I simply do it with a little dignity. Leather seats. Climate control. Premium sound system. My owner parks me far away from everyone else because my paint is actually worth protecting. I can do everything you can do, only with style.”
“Style?” Sports Car scoffed. “You think that’s style? When my top is down and we’re cruising a winding road, people stare. My owner smiles every time he gets behind the wheel. Nobody is cooler than me.”
The argument continued until a raspy voice spoke from the far end of the parking lot. It belonged to an old work van. The paint was faded. The body was dented. One hubcap was missing.
“You all don’t see it, do you?” the old van asked.
“See what?” the others replied.
“You spend all your time trying to prove you’re the best.”
“Because I am!” said Sports Car.
The old van chuckled.
“The only thing worth bragging about is that you’re different.”
Sports Car rolled his headlights.
“What’s better than being fast, agile, exciting, and fun?”
“Think about it,” said Work Van. “You’re perfect for a Sunday afternoon drive. But what happens when your owner needs to take Grandma to physical therapy after her hip replacement? How exactly is she getting in and out of you?”
Sports Car fell silent.
“Well,” he finally said, “maybe I’m not better than Minivan. But I’m definitely better than Pickup.”
Pickup nearly blew a gasket.
“Better? When your owner needs twenty bags of mulch from Lowe’s, who gets the call? Me. When someone needs help moving, who gets the call? Me. Half my owner’s friends only know him because I exist.”
Luxury Sedan joined in.
“You all miss the point. People admire me. They point at me. They tell their spouses they want one just like me. I’m hand-washed. Hand-dried. Pampered. My owner loves me.”
The debate raged on for the rest of the afternoon. When maintenance was complete and the vehicles were reunited with their owners, each left convinced they were the greatest vehicle ever built.
How could they not?
After all, they had been chosen.
And each resolved to double down on that belief.
Legends in their own minds.
I tell this story because people are a lot like those four vehicles.
Temperaments, for our purposes.
Each of us has one. We didn’t choose it. We didn’t earn it. We didn’t learn it. It’s simply part of who we are.
Like the vehicles in the story, each temperament has strengths, weaknesses, blind spots, and situations where it shines. The question isn’t which temperament is best.
The question is: Best for what?
A sports car isn’t a bad vehicle because it can’t haul a hockey team. A minivan isn’t a bad vehicle because it can’t corner like a Porsche. A pickup truck isn’t defective because it doesn’t have heated leather seats. And a luxury sedan isn’t broken because nobody wants to fill it with mulch.
Each has a purpose. Each has a sweet spot.
People work the same way.
The challenge is that we often recognize the strengths of our own temperament while becoming irritated by the strengths of others. Sports Car sees freedom. Pickup sees responsibility. Minivan sees service. Luxury Sedan sees refinement.
Each believes its strengths are the most important strengths.
That’s where the trouble starts.
For our purposes, the four temperaments are:
· Guardians (SJ)
· Artisans (SP)
· Idealists (NF)
· Rationals (NT)
Just as the vehicles in our story were all vehicles, these are all temperaments. Different, but equally valuable. Each excels in certain situations and struggles in others. We will revisit these later in the book.
The goal isn’t to become a different temperament. The goal is to understand your own. To know where you’re naturally gifted. To know where you’re likely to struggle. To know when you should trust your instincts and when you might need help from someone wired differently.
Because unlike vehicles, we don’t get to trade ourselves in for a newer model. There are no refunds. No exchanges.
You play the hand you’re dealt.
Which is exactly why this book exists.
Lesson #1 is simple:
No vehicle is inherently better than another. They’re simply built for different purposes.
The same is true of temperaments.
Different.
Not better.
Not worse.
Just different.
And once you truly understand that, understanding yourself and other people becomes a whole lot easier.
